Climbing the Matterhorn in Winter with my Dog, Sparky
Well, I have to admit that bringing my beloved dog along on my, otherwise, solo climb, was a mistake. Let me explain…
Sparky was (whoops, I just gave away the ending) my companion for the past seven years. He was a mix between a terrier and a cocker spaniel and he had become a little arthritic. Lately, he complained constantly on our half mile walks in the neighborhood. I guess I ignored his pleas. I should have listened.
We started our climb on February 19, 2026, two days after a significant avalanche had hit the train just outside of Zermatt. No one was killed in that avalanche, but I decided to wait nearly two days to ensure there were safe conditions for our climb. The 19th was sunny and there were very few clouds, so I thought that this was the day to make a dash to the summit of the Matterhorn and then wingsuit it back to the base camp…a nice B and B just outside of Zermatt. I asked Sparky if he was ready and his wagging tail told me all I needed to know.
Sparky did not like the cold…anywhere. It bothered his feet the most. So, I made little leather covers for his feet. Truth be told, those turned out to be a bit of a disaster. Sparky frolicked in a puddle near the start of our climb. The leather soaked in the water. The water then froze and Sparky was basically left with four little ice cubes on his feet, making walking even more difficult for him. My mistake was thinking that they would thaw out quickly on our climb. They did not.
The first part of the climb was really more like a walk. The altitude was not bad, starting at just 5300 feet, nearly the same as Denver. I fact, the Matterhorn is not all that high, just 14, 690 feet. I ran a marathon up Pike’s Peak in Colorado (about 14,110 feet), with the round trip taking about eight hours for me. And this would be easier, I planned to use my wing suit at the summit and wingsuit/paraglide from summit to base. I would tuck Sparky into my jacket and we would be back in the nice warm B and B in no time.
I know that the record for fastest ascent is about one hour and forty five minutes. I figured it would take me twice that long, since I am now 79 years old and it was my first ascent of the Matterhorn. Also, I was wearing my wingsuit and parachute and there was a possibility that Sparky might slow me down a bit.
We stopped at the Hornli Hut, located at about 10,000 feet, and enjoyed an early lunch and lots of coffee. Sparky mostly licked his leather shoes…cute. I paid our bill and off we went…headed straight up.
The first hour was the worst. Sparky had more and more trouble staying connected to the mountain, due to his frozen feet. He mostly dangled in thin air at the end of his leash, spinning in the wind. I grew increasingly angry with him. I had brought along a newspaper and would occasionally reel him in and beat him with the newspaper, hoping it would encourage him to actually climb the mountain. It did not.
At an hour and one half, I had made poor progress and also noticed that Sparky had completely quit barking. I wanted to stop for a moment, reel him in and see if he was OK. However, that section of the mountain had quite a bit of snow on it and it was hard to find a spot to stop and rest. When I finally did, it was nearly two hours into the climb.
I reeled in Sparky and found that my beloved pet was dead. I am not completely sure he was fully dead. He was, at least, frozen solid. His eyes were open, as was his mouth, but nothing on him was moveable…he was a solid piece of ice.
I cried real tears for up to a minute and they froze on my facemask. I chipped them off and put them in a pocket, determined to keep them as a remembrance of my beloved Sparky and our glorious couple of hours together on the Matterhorn.
I found a small niche in the ridge and dug it out, mostly snow, ice and a few pebbles. It was just large enough for me to shove Sparky into, rear legs first, so that his beautiful frozen smile was facing outwards. I was not thinking too well at the time and recall thinking that, if he indeed warmed up and reanimated, that he could quickly see where he was and would remember the way back down. I left his collar and leash on him, so he would feel safe and supported on his way down…perhaps thinking that I was there to safeguard him. Sparky was not too bright…might work.
At the very least, I knew that the niche that I had put him in was protected from most of the snow and that other climbers would reach that point and be surprised to see Sparky’s smiling face…cheering them up before they continued the difficult climb still ahead.
Without Sparky dragging down my performance, I was able to summit in just six more hours. The climb was difficult, but the “climbing powder” I had purchased from a ski bum at the Hornli Hut…don’t know the exact name of the powder…meth something or other…kept me fearless and energized. I did have one tooth drop out, not sure why, probably the altitude.
The summit was not just a high point. It had a 330 foot exposed ridge. That ridge marks the border between Switzerland and Italy. I had brought my passport with me and expected to see a border guard of some kind…probably Swiss…they are kind of strict about such things. However, there was no guard…no nothing…just a straight down fall on both sides of the ridge. I walked one foot in front of the other across the entire length of the ridge, not wanting to come all this way without actually setting foot on the summit. My crossing was uneventful, but a bit slippery. The ascent had been a complete success, minus the loss of my beloved Sparky.
Clouds were banding around the summit. The clouds were wet…duh…and cold. Visibility was going away quickly. I decided to rest for just ten minutes and then properly prepare my wing suit and parachute for the quick descent. That was a mistake. Within five minutes of my rest time, my gear was frozen solid. By the time I recognized what was happening, I kind of panicked and kicked into high gear. You really don’t want to panic and kick into high gear on the icy, snowy, cloud covered exposed ridge at the top of a 14,690 foot mountain. Next thing I knew, I was no longer in contact with said mountain…I was free falling.
The Matterhorn is not straight up and down. It looks a bit like a pyramid. Why do I mention this? I mention it because…if a person were to fall off the top of the mountain, they would likely hit something before they could maneuver away from the danger. That is exactly what happened to me. I hit the side of the mountain HARD. It knocked the wind out of me and frightened me a bit. But, as luck would have it, I had hit a snowy area…not rocks…and was still in one piece. But now, to make things worse, I was still in the clouds, could not see what was below me and I was tumbling. Time to forget the fun of the wing suit…I pulled the cord on my parachute.
Wham! The chute deployed with a hard snap. I was now decreasing speed, had stopped tumbling and starting to regain some control. In fact, the visibility was improving and soon I could see the mountain itself…JUST 50 feet from me and closing. I pulled hard on the left side of the parachute and swung away from the mountain. I could see that I was a LONG way up, maybe still at 11,000 feet or so. I was still struggling to catch my breath…from the trauma of the collision with the mountain and from the altitude…but my breathing did seem to be returning to near normal.
Wouldn’t you know it, the wind changed abruptly and rushed me back toward the mountain…toward the very ridge that I had climbed earlier. As I struggled to pull away from the mountain, I looked directly into the frozen eyes of my beloved Sparky, looking as if he was happy to see me float by. I only saw him for a few seconds and that was to be our final good bye. I sure hope he thaws out in Spring time and can find his way back to safety.
I was now below the changing weather above, in sunlight and within view of the Hornli Hut. I guided my chute toward the hut and did a bit of a fly by. Everyone waved. A waiter yelled… “Where is your dog?” I was by him too quickly to answer.
The landing, back near the parking lot where I had started, was uneventful. Uneventful, except…I did slam into the roof of an electric tourist bus and compound fractured my ankle.
The Swiss are not just good at rescue, they are great. In no time at all, I was charged with reckless endangerment, malicious damage to property in excess of 2500 Swiss Francs, and, based on a call the police got from the waiter up at the Hornli Hut, having a dog that was not on a leash. I hope to win that last one in court…given the circumstances. I was also charged with leaving the umlaut off of the O in Hornli and will appeal that insult based on not knowing how to put an umlaut on a letter in a Word document. Despite all that paperwork, I was in a toboggan and off to the hospital in no time.
The excellent Swiss doctors put me back together expertly. They fed me fondue. Life is good.
So that is the story of my almost completely successful Matterhorn climb. It was a learning experience. My professional recommendations are…
-Don’t do this climb in winter.
-Don’t bring along your dog.
-Try to be more careful on the summit ridge, especially if you are not wearing a wing suit and parachute.
-See if you can bring home some of the “climbing powder” they sell in Zermatt. It would be excellent for marathoning or long open ocean swims at home. Just to be safe, hide it in your underwear when you go through Customs or put it in a capsule and hide it even more carefully, if you know what I mean. I brought home a pound and a half and use it every half hour or so…it is just that good.
-Buy travel insurance before the trip. My efforts to do so after the fact resulted in me picking up another criminal charge in Switzerland. Who knew that Zurich Insurance would require their customers to purchase trip insurance before they would know if they would need it?
-Remember to leave a tip for the waiter at the Hornli Hut. Turns out they take it personally if you do not and, also, apparently they do not like having to clean up dog poop, even if the dog smiles at them and wags his tail. It seems they have a direct line to the local police…who I got to meet.
-Buy dental insurance before buying and using “climbing powder.”
-Should you put frozen beloved doggy tears in your pocket, take them out before entering a warm area…other wise they disappear and make your pockets wet…and salty.
Hope those suggestions help…and one more bit of advice…
Zermatt is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Do not ruin it with exercise.
And one closing thought…it is April 1…you might consider that date before you write me your angry letters.
Aloha.