Getting coached while getting old

I define a coach as someone who will cause you to explore areas of possibility that you would not explore on your own.  A coach is a person who finds a way to motivate you to expand your capabilities and do things you never thought you were capable of doing.  A coach is a highly valuable person.

Once we reach a certain age, we THINK we no longer need a coach.  I completely disagree.  Our retirement years are THE years for exploration and for trying to do new things.  Without a coach…we often balk at the first barrier to that exploration.

I know hundreds of people who do not want a coach in their lives.  I must confess that I have a probably unfair view of why that might be.  I suspect those people lack the confidence to have someone push them…for fear of seeming weak, fearful or incompetent.  But mostly, I think those folks are just afraid to fail…and a coach will push you far enough to where you do fail…and guess what…you will survive that failure.

For me, it comes down to this…Am I going to my grave having left a huge amount of things on the table that I would like to have explored…but did not because of my own fears?  Am I going to be someone who often says “Oh I wish I could do that.”  or the person who does it?  So…I decided long ago to get some coaches, surround myself with experts, swallow my fears and focus on breaking through my own self imposed barriers.  Has it worked universally…heck no.  I still have a few things that I will not do…and I can live with that short list.  But my strategy is working…and I am finding I can do so much more than I ever dreamed I could do.

By the way…I do not consider myself “brave”.  I consider myself purposeful and calculating and willing to try.  And I am absolutely accepting of the risks that go along with my explorations.  Stuff happens whether you are sitting at home or dancing on the active lava flow.  In fact…at least so far…it is the cancer/stroke/car accidents that have killed my friends…not the sharks/crocs/lava.

Since I am now 70, my coaches are almost all younger than me…most of them half my age.  Is that awkward for me?  Not really.  If they have expertise to share and are willing to share it…I’m listening and appreciative. For those of you who have known me my whole life…you could attest that I have a healthy ego and would have well benefitted from a third arm with which to pat myself on my own back.  However…what you don’t know about me is that I have virtually no ego when it comes to getting help, getting coached, trying and failing and working my way through the fear and incompetence stages.  I think that one sentence is why I have enjoyed some success in my life…I get help and I try and I do not care about how I look during the learning stage.

Challenge yourself to do something you have always wanted to do but have not had the confidence to try.  Get a coach or expert to help you.  Swallow your pride for a while…and get er done.  Live all your life…not just the comfortable parts.  You will be happy you tried.  Aloha.


  1. Pike on December 18, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    Don !!
    I consider you a coach of me although I’ve never met you. You inspire me and we are the same age. Your last book, esp. The last half, spoke to me.
    I just wish I could act on it better instead of just agreeing with it.
    Thanks. Merry Christmas. Be careful out there…..pike

    • Don Hurzeler on December 18, 2017 at 4:33 pm

      Pike…thank you. Pick one small thing that you want to do but have not…and do it. i think that success leads to success. Break down those barriers one at a time. Aloha and happy holidays.

  2. Marty Barger on December 18, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Great article Don!

  3. Chris Poulos on June 7, 2018 at 5:46 pm

    Coach..Mentor…or Friend, who likes you enough to tell you something uncomfortable about yourself or something you never considered about yourself.