My Pretentious Memoir
Published by: Kua Bay Publishing LLC
Release Date: November 26, 2020
Contributors: Donald J Hurzeler
A wild and fun look at the misadventures of a lifetime by a guy who has overcome his mistakes to live life to its fullest. This book will make you feel good about your own life choices. It will also cause you to think about how you can expand your horizons and put more joy in your life. From the author of Amazon Best Selling, What's Left of Don.
Not suitable for readers under 40…language, nudity, stupidity.
“Best cover ever! Symbolically represents the author leaping above a sea of competition in the chaos that is life. A photograph that looks as if it were painted by a master, lit by God and emblematic of the chances the author has taken to try, fail and eventually emerge triumphant on the other side. Triumphant may be an overreach…perhaps “survive” might be closer to the truth. Still…a hell of a good-looking cover.”
—Leonard J. Farnham, fictional book critic
“I thought that memoirs are only written by famous people about their famous lives. Then I see that this Don Hurzeler guy…a man that few have ever heard of, even within his own family, has managed to write TWO memoirs. Is nothing sacred anymore? At least it is really well written, funny as hell and completely unique…and the cover is fantastic. When will part three be available?”
—Linda Collins, eventual first wife of the author
“I wondered what he was doing locked in his office all day…and now we know.”
—Mary Fall, executive assistant to the author
“If Mozart had chosen to be a writer, he would have written like Don Hurzeler.”
—Antonio (Tony) Salieri, Jr (the 8th)…well known accordion soloist
“Please don’t bring me into this.”
—High praise from the author’s best friend, Mike Fayles
Excerpt from a chapter titled Raised Like a Free Range Chicken…
“My dad thought I was too skinny as a child, which I was. I was athletic, but, man, I was skinny. Net result, my normal-sized ears stuck out like barn doors and you could see the outline of my ribs through my tee shirts. Dad took action.
I must have been eight or nine when I started getting a glass of beer at dinner to “increase my appetite”...according to Dad...who was not exactly a doctor or a nutritional expert. It was just a normal drink to me. I loved it. I cannot ever recall it giving me a buzz...as a kid. I do recall it used to horrify our relatives when they came over for dinner and I was having a beer. But my folks were country folks and they did a number of things that horrified our more refined relatives and friends.
As I got into maybe seventh grade, my mom came up with an even better idea to fatten me up...daily homemade chocolate chip malts with half-and-half and crème de menthe. Holy shit were they good! I could hardly wait to get home to have a big blender’s worth. Did kind of whet my appetite for the beer that would be coming my way at dinner. Stoked.”