“We wondered what he was doing locked in his office all day…and now we know.”
—Mary Fall, executive assistant to the author

“If Mozart had chosen to be a writer, he would have written like Don Hurzeler.”
—Antonio (Tony) Salieri, Jr (the 8th)…well known accordion soloist

“Please don’t bring me into this.”
—High praise from the author’s best friend, Mike Fayles

Excerpt from a chapter titled Raised Like a Free Range Chicken…

“My dad thought I was too skinny as a child, which I was. I was athletic, but, man, I was skinny. Net result, my normal-sized ears stuck out like barn doors and you could see the outline of my ribs through my tee shirts. Dad took action.

I must have been eight or nine when I started getting a glass of beer at dinner to “increase my appetite”...according to Dad...who was not exactly a doctor or a nutritional expert. It was just a normal drink to me. I loved it. I cannot ever recall it giving me a buzz...as a kid. I do recall it used to horrify our relatives when they came over for dinner and I was having a beer. But my folks were country folks and they did a number of things that horrified our more refined relatives and friends.

As I got into maybe seventh grade, my mom came up with an even better idea to fatten me up...daily homemade chocolate chip malts with half-and-half and crème de menthe. Holy shit were they good! I could hardly wait to get home to have a big blender’s worth. Did kind of whet my appetite for the beer that would be coming my way at dinner. Stoked.”